For those people who have children or haven’t contemplated having them yet, it may not cross their minds that there are a ton of people who are having problems trying to conceive but may just not want to shout up and down about it! It makes me cringe when I hear of someone making a comment or asking a totally inappropriate question to someone who doesn’t have children because I know there could be a sad reason as to why. They could potentially be finding it difficult to conceive because of fertility problems. This becomes extremely awkward as I then start to feel annoyed at the sheer thoughtlessness of the person asking the question.
Don’t get me wrong, not everyone wants kids. I’m sure I will be bombarded with 30/40 something year old women stating proudly “I never wanted children so I don’t get offended”. That’s fine! Good for you but this post is really to be kind to those that do but have not managed to conceive yet. Anyway just to keep you informed, I have compiled a list of things you should not say or ask someone who is over the age of 30 with no kids.
1. When are you going have kids then?
Oh yeah I’ve been with my husband for like 10 years and we are really enjoying our childless ventures around the world and it’s so thrilling to meet up with my friends and hear them talking about their wonderful children all the time
2. You must really enjoy having time to yourself
Erm well I don’t know any different but I think I would probably prefer the pitter patter of tiny feet to keep me busy.
3. Oooh don’t you think you had better get cracking with having a baby? Your clock is ticking!
4. You can have one of mine if you like
Thanks but no thanks. I would rather try and have my own baby or if that’s not possible, I’ll look into alternative options. I don’t fancy being mother to one of your kids just because they are being a little brat right now.
5.At least you have each other
Yes we do but would be even nicer if we had each other and a baby. What a dumb, really not well thought out comment!
6. You’re so lucky, you must have a really clean house/car and money in the bank!
No dear, you’re the lucky one. What I would give my back seats to be full of crumbs and sticky jam hand prints all over the walls right now. So just think a little before speaking. Many of us take parenthood for granted but it’s not always what it seems for many people who may be childless for a reason out of their control.
Not everyone wants kids but be mindful what you say to childless couples as you just never know what they may have been going through over recent years.