It’s taken me a while to write about this, and it’s very raw and does make me slighty emotional (as my eyes well up through certain parts of writing this). Not only do I want to try get a message across to everyone but I don’t want to seem like I don’t love my husband, daughter, being a parent, or life in general. Im sure so many of you will somewhat agree with me. Well I hope so.
I guess we should start at the beginning. Tom and I met 7 years ago, in beautiful sunny Tenerife. You probably think it was a really romantic meeting.. no, he was being sick into a bucket on the balcony next door to me! It was the perfect holiday romance, which did continue back home for a short while, but we lived 180 miles apart. We went our separate ways for a few years but we were never too far apart.
Fast forward to 3 years ago, when the universe decided to plonk us back together. I moved 180 miles away from what and who I knew & bought a house with Tom. Then on the 10th September 2016 we found out I was pregnant and to say we were over the moon would quite easily be an understatement.
The pregnancy was a breeze and I couldn’t wait for all 3 of us to be together as our own little family, but there was always a thought in the back of my head, a slightly jealous feeling that I’m going to have to share Tom with someone else, and all of his attention is not going to be on me, like it has been solidly for the last 3 years. Selfish I know! I can be a very needy person at times so this feeling did frighten me slightly. It was always at the back of my mind, but was sometimes over powered by the thought that we would have a beautiful daughter.
Along came our beautiful daughter, we were blessed and the frightening thought of sharing Tom disappeared. Well I thought it did. The first few weeks after giving birth we, as a 3 did everything together, some days we would just sit on the sofa, Tom and I staring at our beautiful little girl. It was like a honeymoon period.
As babies grow older they get get slightly more demanding, they need more attention and I love nothing more the having a good cuddle with my daughter whilst she chews away at some toy she’s more then likely meant to rattle, but apparently it tastes better!
Alba our little girl still wakes in the night. Well Tom and I have worked out the ‘night time feeding schedule’ and its been in place for a while now. We take it In turns to do the late feed, he does the middle feed and I do the morning one, it’s a fair deal I reckon (Tom doesnt) but that’s how it is and it works for us.
However we have also found that we do other things seperately now too. Tom gets home from work, and he watches Alba whilst I attempt to cook, or the other way round, depending on what’s for dinner (I’m not the best of cooks by any stretch, I burnt toast badly the other day) so until we get into bed we don’t really sit down together and have ‘us time’ to catch up on our day we have had.
Now I’m sure many women will understand and agree, that once you have had a baby your body confidence plummets and you need even more attention & compliments to make you feel kinda good about yourself, but I don’t think men really understand, however much you tell them.
Basically the long and short of it.. I miss ‘us’ time. I miss my husband. It’s that simple.
Do not get me wrong, I love my daughter I love spending time with her, I would not have it any other way, but I think you do still need to have time just you with your better half now and again. And that’s the advise I would strongly give to anyone expecting or new parents, always make time with your other half. Even if it’s an hour or so, turn off your phones, turn off the tv, and talk! You will more then likely talk about your baby but at the end of the day it’s you two spending quality time with each other. You will cherish your time together.
I’m sure some of you may agree but then again some of you may live the perfect lifestyle with your a perfect family. Well my family is Perfect, in our own way, I’m just a bit more needy then most others!
Life as a 3 will take time to adjust into but Hey, it’s only been 5 months!