How to cope with an overbearing Mother in-law during pregnancy and after the birth of your baby
Having a baby is a lovely and joyous experience not just for the expecting parents but for relatives too. Moreover, the grandparents and other relatives will want to be a part of this joyful event, then sometimes things can be a little bit overbearing. Before you know it, you have in-laws or relations picking out probable names for the baby, discussing how the baby should be raised from whether he/she should co-sleep or have a bassinet, maybe he/she should be breastfed or not, etc. However, here are few tips on how to cope with an overbearing in-law when during pregnancy
Examine your mother- in -law’s perspective.
With or without understanding, try to see your mother-in law’s side of the story and how her attitude may be an indication of larger issues she has with herself and her relationship with her son and not you. Moreover, his mother’s hostility towards you is an act of frustration over being disassociated from him. However, if this is the case, this is something that your hubby needs to work on with his mom.
This needs to be central in your strategies, no matter what you are discussing. While initial attempts to engage your in-laws should be courteous; however, remember, you are not necessarily dealing with a person or people who are nice. You do not need to always play nice in getting your points across.
Talk about your feelings.
If you are married and your mother-in-law is giving you problem, a time will come when you need to iron out some issues with her. Moreover, stress during pregnancy is not an option, and if she is causing anything resembling stress, then the hubby and the pregnant mom need to talk about the stress and how to fix things; because neglecting the problem will only make things worse.
There needs to be boundaries in the relationship between the pregnant mom and the mother-in-law. These boundaries need first to be discussed with the husband and then with the parent-in-law. Make sure to tell her that her opinion is welcomed, but she is not the one making the final decisions on the baby issues.
Do not put the hubby/father in the middle.
Discussing with parent-in-law about some issues and the pregnancy is an important task. However, that needs to be the sole responsibility of the father of the baby. Moreover, the talk should be one both parents can participate equally as this will stop any negative thought between the married couple.
Visit the Paediatrician/ Midwife Together
Take your parent- in -law or other relations along with your husband for the normal paediatrician visits. Talking baby issues together will help you clear doubts and will establish a more streamlined approach for the family to care for the baby as a unit. No one will want to go against the doctor’s advice and risk the little one’s health!
Give her something special to accomplish.
All the parent-in-law really wants is to feel special and be a part of the spectacular event. Giving them a special task to perform during the pregnancy will keep her occupied and pregnant mom to feel less stress.
In Conclusion, understanding your mother-in-law / relatives reduces frustration during and after pregnancy.