Home Baby, Parenting My Husband Doesn’t “Help” Me. He Pulls His Weight.

My Husband Doesn’t “Help” Me. He Pulls His Weight.

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Oh my god. If one more person tells me how lucky I am that my husband “helps” me I am going to lose it. I get it…things used to be different. Men would often be the one going to work and women would often stay at home. But those days are over, so why the hell are people still telling me I am lucky to have a husband who pitches in???

I’m happily married with two amazing children. My life is good, so I shouldn’t complain…but it is driving me mad.

He cooks, he cleans, be bathes the children, he drops off and picks up the children from care. But….SO DO I! I do all of those things too. We both work and we both pull our weight around the house.

I understand that I have it better than most. Most men aren’t that involved.  A lot of men get away with not lifting a finger around the house. It makes me furious when I think about all the women out there who are putting up with having to mother their husbands. I don’t think it was okay in 1950 and I don’t think its okay now. I want my son to see that he needs to be an equal in a relationship and I want my daughter to expect that for herself.

I have friends who have to do it all. They go to work and then they come home and their day starts all over again as they single handedly cook, clean, get the kids ready for bed, do bedtime stories and tuck them in. They have husbands, but their husbands are busy doing whatever the hell they want. One of my friends often doesn’t even know where her husband is. She says he comes home from work, says hello to everyone and leaves again…to the gym, to the pub – wherever he wants really. When she suggested that she start going to do a gym class two nights a week he simply disregarded it as “not an option right now, but maybe one day.” Can you believe that? It’s so ridiculously unfair that I can’t believe she is still married to him.

I don’t heap praise on my husband when he cooks dinner or does the dishes. Why should I? He doesn’t heap praise on me either. We are both grateful for each other and the lives that we are creating for ourselves and our children. We are equal. Every woman in a relationship should feel like they are equal to their partner. It saddens me immensely that I know that’s not the case. That a lot of women out there feel less worthy and less valuable.

Ladies, please stand up for yourselves. Don’t raise your husbands. They are not your children. Show your children how a couple should behave.

I want that so much for my own children. I want them to grow up knowing that they have to always pull their weight and treat others as their equals

 

 

 

 

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