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My Sister didn’t allow my kids to her wedding so I didn’t go

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Child free weddings

My Sister didn’t allow my kids to her wedding so I didn’t go and now she wont speak to me!

Child free weddings are becoming increasingly popular amongst childless couples for a number of reasons:

Expense – Many venues charge per head and will charge for children over a certain age. This can be a bit of a pain in the ass when you have paid £50 for a 3 year old who has only nibbled a carrot.

Space- Some venues are small and the bride & groom may feel that they cannot accomodate Sally and her 5 kids purely because of the space.

Noise- Yes kids, love ’em are noisy. Some brides to be are worried that a baby might start crying through their nuptials.

Auntie say’s no

So there are some potentially legit reasons for not inviting kids to your wedding but how far do you actually take it? Well I recently turned down my own sisters wedding invite due to her ‘no children’ policy that went as far as banning her own nieces! Now I have 2 girls, one aged 8 and a 3 month old. The older one adores her auntie and was actually hoping to be a flower girl when she found out they were getting married. Now it appears she wont be there at all. My 3 month old will likely sleep most of the wedding and if she made so much as a squeak through the ceremony, I would remove myself and the baby from the room.

So what was her response to my shock when she said that it was no kids? She simply said “We don’t want any noisy kids running around screaming and if I invite yours then I have to invite everyones”

Erm what? Am I not your sister? does that not count for anything? can’t I even bring them to the evening?

“Well I can’t come then” was my reply. For one, everyone that could possibly baby sit for me will be at the wedding and there is not a chance in hell of me leaving my 3 month old with a stranger for anyone’s wedding. Secondly I’m breastfeeding and thirdly, even if I could get a baby sitter, I wouldn’t enjoy myself knowing that my daughter is at home sad that she cant see her auntie get married.

Change of view

So no thanks, you enjoy your day and I will look after my children. My sister did not speak to me for 6 months after her big day until she fell pregnant…

When the baby was born, suddenly her thoughts changed as she too has had to turn down a wedding invite to a childless wedding after asking the bride to make an exception for her and the baby because she couldn’t leave him. This was her best friends wedding and she was really upset. She has apologised to me and admits she probably went too far with the whole childless thing. She has also had to answer some awkward questions from my 8 year old who is not happy with her!

It’s really bizarre because we were brought up with weddings being a family affair that children were always a part of but now things are changing. I would say to anyone planning a child free wedding to do what is best for you and your day but be aware that some guests wont be able to make it and if you start involving family in the no kids rule, you are likely to cause upset. As long as you can handle this then it’s all good!

The No alcohol wedding

I recently read a story of a bride who was upset that most of her guests left her wedding celebrations early. She had decided on a strictly zero alcohol wedding as her and her husband didnt drink. The wedding started at 1pm so by the time the ceremony was over and everyone had eaten their meals with water it was around 6pm. Guests started to leave at 7pm after the first dance and went off to find a local bar as they were bored. the couple were left with 3 guests by 8.30pm.

So the moral of the story is this: Yes it is your day, yes it is your money etc etc but your guests are what adds to making the day beautiful. If you didn’t care about guests, you would get married without any. So bear this is mind when planning your wedding, especially when it imposes certain restrictions on them.

Written by anonymous – if you would like to share your story or write a blog about any topics covering Fertility, pregnancy, birth, parenting or relationships then click here to submit a guest post

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