Motherhood is full of surprises, and while books, articles, and well-meaning friends will offer plenty of tips, there are certain realities that tend to go unmentioned. New mums often find themselves navigating unexpected challenges, learning things through experience rather than instruction. Here’s some of the most practical advice that nobody tells you—but that can truly make a difference in your motherhood journey.
One of the biggest surprises is that newborns don’t just sleep when they’re tired—they often need help falling asleep. While you may imagine your baby peacefully dozing off in a crib, the reality is that many newborns struggle with self-soothing. This means rocking, swaying, or skin-to-skin contact may be essential to help them settle. While sleep schedules will eventually develop, accepting that newborns need assistance getting to sleep can relieve some of the frustration new mums often feel.
Another unexpected reality is you will feel like you’re doing everything wrong at some point—but you’re not. The weight of responsibility can make every cry, every difficult feed, and every restless night feel like a personal failure. The truth is, all mums experience moments of doubt, and making adjustments as you go is perfectly normal. Babies don’t come with a manual, and parenting is a learning curve. Trust yourself, and know that imperfection is part of the process.
People often talk about postpartum recovery, but few mention the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and adjusting to motherhood can leave you feeling overwhelmed, teary, or even disconnected. Feeling emotional doesn’t mean something is wrong—it’s a common experience that many mums go through. Talking to trusted friends, seeking support, or even allowing yourself time to process your feelings can help. If emotions become too heavy, reaching out to a professional is always a valuable step.
Something that isn’t emphasized enough is how important it is to accept help without guilt. Many new mums feel pressure to do everything on their own, worrying that accepting support means they’re failing. The reality is that parenting is demanding, and leaning on those who offer help—whether it’s a meal, childcare, or simply a listening ear—is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Allowing others to assist you gives you space to rest, recharge, and be the best version of yourself for your baby.
Then, there’s the unexpected difficulty of finding time to eat properly. While people prepare mums for sleep deprivation, few highlight how easy it is to forget meals altogether. Having snacks ready, accepting pre-prepared meals, or setting reminders to nourish yourself is crucial. Your body is recovering and needs fuel—whether it’s quick bites in between feeds or larger meals when possible, prioritizing nutrition benefits both you and your baby.
Another little-known tip is don’t stress over “creating bad habits” in the first few months. Many new mums worry about holding their baby too much, nursing them to sleep, or responding too quickly when they cry. The truth is, the newborn stage is about building trust and comfort—not rigid routines. Babies eventually adjust, and most habits naturally shift as they grow. Comforting your baby now will not spoil them but will build security that benefits them later.
Lastly, motherhood isn’t always instantly magical—and that’s okay. While some mums feel an immediate bond, others take time to adjust to the reality of their new role. If you don’t feel an overwhelming sense of joy every moment, you are not alone. Love grows, confidence builds, and each day will bring more comfort in this new chapter of life.
Motherhood is full of lessons that are learned in real-time, but knowing the less-talked-about realities can help smooth the journey. While challenges arise, the most important thing to remember is that you are doing your best—and that is more than enough.
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