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OH THE SHAME!!!

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Recently over on Scary Mommy there was an unfortunate tale of a mum who had passed judgement on a fellow mum for losing control of her bowels in public…only to go on to have an even worse experience herself. It was freaking hilarious. Mortifying, but hilarious.

In the comments section of the post there were so many outrageously funny stories of mums losing the fight in a desperate battle not to sh*t themselves. Nothing like mums coming together to share their most mortifying experiences. By the sounds of it, if this hasn’t happened to you then you are one of the lucky ones!

Below we have put together a short collection of our favourite stories that were shared by some very brave mums! If you’re someone who loses bowl control when laughing we suggest you read this whilst close to a bathroom. Here we go….

 

  1. I sneezed and shit my pants in the drive thru while waiting for my coffee… in a friends van. It was terrible, like sitting in hot beef stew. It’s been a year since the snoop (sneeze-poop) and my poot shoot still gets tense whenever I drive by the coffee shop

 

  1. “When I was pregnant with (my son) I was on my way driving into work and out of nowhere, zero warning, straight up shit my pants. A LOT. And in skinny jeans. Called my boss, crying hysterically saying “I’m sorry I’m going to be late I just shit my paaaaannnnts” to which he responded, “uhm, please just don’t come in today”  I will remember the walk from my car to my apartment forever.”

 

  1. “After having a terrible breakfast at a local restaurant my husband and I dropped our son off at my sister’s house then proceeded to Wal-Mart to go Christmas shopping. This was about an hour after consuming said terrible breakfast. I started feeling mystomach recoiling and the intestinal cramps began their telltale assault. I had contracted food poisoning. Instead of retreating to the safety of home, I decided to power through our Christmas shopping. Then it happened. We were perusing the toy aisles and I sneezed. Sneezed with such force that my sphincter opened and I shat myself in the toy aisle at Wal-Mart.”

 

  1. “ I was on my way to the toilet at night, really had to go quick… And then almost at the toilets door step I stepped on my dog’s squicky toy.. It scared me so much that I shat myself… ”

 

  1. “I was waiting in my car outside my bank (on a very cold Saturday after it had closed) waiting for a few people to finish with the ATM. Suddenly had a crazy turtlehead and tried everything I could think of to hold it off, but there was no slowing it dow Thankfully I was able to make it to the back of my van and found a graduation program, then I dropped trou and laid a mighty log. Put the whole thing in a bag and dropped it in the garbage of the Sam’s Club next door, then went to the atm like nothing happened.
    I’ve literally never told anyone til now!! LOL”

 

 

  1. “I pooped myself in my boyfriend’s new car. Yep. His seat had the wet spot on it and everything. We were on our way home from a party and it was an hour’s drive to get back…. It hit hard and fast while we were stuck in downtown traffic. His car didn’t stand a chance. The smell was awful. but he was such a good sport about it although I was beyond humiliated. Now we’re engaged with a 10 month old son.”

 

  1. Anyone who has ever taken the antibiotic Augmentin knows it ain’t no joke!! After a 5 day IV-drip of the stuff in hospital, I was sent home with ANOTHER ten days’ worth of the shit-storm in a bottle to take at home. This coincided with my moving day to my new home 5 hours away. I had fared well enough til around day 4, when my grown sons arrived with the Uhaul with the rest of my belongings. I went to grab a box and leaned over….and BLAMMO! I froze. There was only one bathroom, and the whole family was in the kitchen leading to it. I finally had to gather my courage, cup my ass cheeks, praying it stayed in my underwear, at least the chunks anyway. I ran through the house, top-flight and said “Look out everyone! Get out the way, it was a poop-fart!!!” My son got whiff and retched a bit and said “Oh wow…”.
    Mortal embarrassment is not an accurate description.”

 

So there you go! If it’s happened to you then you’re certainly not alone! Perhaps the best comment was “ Oh please! If you haven’t shit yourself or sharted in public, have you really even lived?”

If you want to read the original article by Diana Park over on Scary Mommy you can click here to start the journey! You’ve been warned.

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