I’m 38, suddenly single, and have been trying for a baby, more or less, on and off, for about 8 years, with 2 different long term partners.
Partner #1 we did not approach IVF specialists, or track cycles or anything, we just thought nature would take its course. It didn’t. While he would have made a fabulous father, and was wonderful with our friends’ kids, he did not actively say he wanted kids or marriage.
Partner #2 desperately wanted a large family, and marriage, and we were blissfully happy. We did track cycles, I took ovulation test kits sporadically, I suffered 2 miscarriages, and an ectopic pregnancy from which I lost a fallopian tube in emergency surgery in the middle of the night. We met with the IVF doctor, and we were saving for our first crack at it (and waiting a suitable amount of time for his recovery from shoulder surgery) when he pulled the pin on the relationship.
He was younger than me and decided all of a sudden that he didn’t need to rush into kids just yet, and that he didn’t think our relationship was strong enough to bring kids into. Newsflash for me, who after 5 years of being together and 3 years of actively trying to conceive, thought I had the partner and father of my dreams. I thought our recent niggles were just that, niggles, possibly brought on by years of failure and an impending large IVF bill starting to weigh us down.
Nevertheless, at my age, and with my test results in mind, I made a very easy and quick decision to do it by myself.
When I told my sister (D, 35) of my decision, she said “well you did say to me that if you didn’t meet the right man, you’d do it by yourself!”
And so here I am… on the way to becoming a single mum, just Me, Myself and IVF!
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