"Hi, this is a throwaway. To put it bluntly, me and my husband had a surprise baby while we were young, I was on long term birth control at the time (implant in arm) and had to have it removed after we found out I was pregnant. Last week we were out for dinner with friends and he was making jokes and slipped in about how he thinks I baby trapped him. No reason for it, nothing to back up this crazy accusation, never mentioned it before but I guess drunk words are sober thoughts? Our friends obviously looked a bit shocked and uncomfortable, especially when they saw my face.
I asked my husband what the heck he was on about and he was saying how it was weird that we’d been sleeping together for 4 years and then I randomly got pregnant. I responded by asking him a flurry of questions like “oh did I baby trapped you for your money?” (He and his family were broke, mine is well off), and “did I baby trap you for your house?” (We lived in one of my parents properties at the time), “did I baby trap you for your cars” (he didn’t have a license at that point) he didn’t respond and then our friends changed the subject. He’s been giving me basically the silent treatment ever since, only 1 word answers and only when I speak to him.
By the way, since having our 1st we have been married for 3 years, bought a house (with my deposit) and had 2 more children. This completely caught me by surprise but he really seems quite upset by this. I know it was cruel to embarrass him but a common phrase in my area is “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it”. AITA?
Edit - We are 25, we have been together for 10 years and married for 3. We had our first when we were 19. Our relationship has been happy and healthy. I absolutely adore our family of 5, +2 fur babies and we have supported eachother through major life events over the past decade. The friends we were with are relatively new ones and are obviously not going to know about our first child’s surprise conception. I am 100% sure my husband doesn’t genuinely think I baby trapped him, I think it was just a very poor joke where I was the punchline and I opened my mouth before I had time to think. I have apologised for embarrassing him with my response and he has of course apologised for his inappropriate “joke” and has clarified to our friends. Thank you for your opinions, tips and advice , it helped give some clarity and outside insight before having a proper discussion with him about the incident."
Reddit Rallies Behind Woman Accused of “Baby Trapping” by Husband at Dinner
A recent post on Reddit’s AITA (Am I the Asshole) subreddit sparked a wave of reactions after a woman shared that her husband casually accused her of “baby trapping” him — in front of others at dinner. The responses were swift, passionate, and overwhelmingly supportive of the woman, with many users calling out the disturbing nature of the accusation and the toxic dynamics at play.
“Flip the Mirror” Moment
One of the top comments suggested the best way to expose the absurdity of the husband's claim would have been to flip the script:
“Pretty sure he tampered with my birth control,” the commenter proposed, imagining a response that would force the husband to reckon with how outrageous — and damaging — his comment really was.
That idea resonated widely. As user joserespw25 put it, “his soul would’ve left his body mid-dinner.” Another added, “Mirror mode hits different when you're not the one holding it.”
Not Just a Joke — A Serious Accusation
Many users emphasized that the husband’s remark wasn’t just an offhand joke, but an accusation that carried serious weight. One commenter noted:
“Baby trapping is legitimately akin to sexual assault… accusing your partner of that is wild. Especially in front of people.”
The broader sentiment was clear: jokes about this kind of manipulation and betrayal aren't just distasteful — they’re dangerous. Users pointed out that unless there’s a shared understanding of dark humor between partners and friends, comments like this can easily be weaponized.
Pattern of Abuse?
Some Redditors went further, interpreting the husband’s behavior as a potential red flag in a larger pattern of emotional abuse. With three kids in four years and a recent marriage, one user suggested the husband might be showing his “true colors” now that he thinks he has control:
“He probably thinks he’s got her trapped… I wouldn’t trust him after casually making such an accusation.”
Another commenter echoed this concern, saying:
“He wants people to not like her and distance themselves from her. The silent treatment smacks of him being a manbaby.”
Community Verdict: Not the Asshole
The overwhelming consensus was that the original poster (OP) was not the asshole. Redditors praised her for standing up for herself and urged her to reflect on whether her husband’s behavior was part of a deeper problem.
In the end, the thread became more than just a judgment call — it was a collective moment of solidarity, with users reminding each other that jokes at the expense of a partner’s integrity or consent aren't funny. They’re red flags — and they deserve to be taken seriously.
